Not Forgotten

Back my sophomore year of high school, I meet a guy named, Justin. He was a couple years older than me. We instantly liked each other and fell for each other. We dated for months. Went to dances and had many dates. We spent as much time together as we could. Hung out with friends together. Played pool at his aunts house.

He came from a rough family background. He was living in between his two aunts at the time. His mother was unfit to care for him because of drugs and alcohol. He had two younger brothers who were caught up in this as well. Justin was a big sweetheart. He was shy, funny, and had the sweetest smile and laugh. He had a good head on his shoulders despite all the family problems. During the time we were dating, his uncle passed away leaving his wife and two young children. It was hard on the family.

Justin did go to college, get a job and move out on his own. At some point, we broke up. I don't remember the why or how. I do know I was young and immature. I was a teenage girl. I didn't always make the best decisions. He always held a special place in my heart though. Over the years, we did keep in touch. We had a mutual friend, Katheryn, who keep us up to date on each other.

Years passed and his widowed aunt passed away as well. I remember running into her one day at the hospital she worked at. I was amazed she even remembered me.

Out of the blue one day, I get a phone call. Its some government agency doing a background check on Justin. I had no idea what was going on or even if this person on the phone was real. He wouldn't tell me what it was for. I told the guy what I knew but that it had been a couple of years since I had talked to him. I got on myspace and sent Justin a message asking him about this. It was a good laugh to him. He was fixing to go out west for the border patrol and hopefully get into the FBI one day. Shortly after that, I went out to eat with a big group of friends from high school. Justin was there. That was the last time I saw him before he left for the border patrol and the last time I saw him healthy.

As I type this, I'm tearing up. I remember his smiling face just as if it was yesterday.

While Justin was away with the border patrol, he started getting sick. That fall, the doctors found he had stage 4 pancreatic cancer and liver cancer. Its a silent killer and no cure. He was sent home to spend his last days with his family and friends. Katheryn told me about what was going on. My heart broke.

He progressively got worse. Thankfully (because of being in the border patrol), he was able to spend his last days in home hospice care. He was with his family and they didn't have to worry about his medical care and how they were going to afford it.

The next spring, I got a call from Katheryn. It was a few days before Good Friday. She informed me that Justin had taken a turn for the worse and that they believed he would pass that week. She asked me if I would like to see him. Of course I would. However, nothing could have prepared me for it.

Justin was not the same smiling Justin I knew and loved. He was weak, fragile, and undeniably sick. I don't know if he recognized me or remembered who I was. The cancer had been too much. The person I was looking at was someone that should of been in his 80s. Had had a full life with kids and grandkids. This was not supposed to happen to a healthy man at the age of 29! It was gut wrenching. I held my composure as best as I could for him and for Katheryn. Katheryn was one of his best friends. She needed me just as I needed her. She had been friends with him for just as long as I had. I said my goodbyes. I knew that was the last time I would see him.

I went home and just cried. It hurt so much. There was nothing I could do. It wasn't right. Not fair. How much more could this family take! Why Justin! He had his whole life before him! That week was a bad one for me. Katheryn asked me if I wanted to see him one more time the next day. I couldn't do it. I didn't know how to handle it. I've never lost someone that had been so close to me at one time.

Justin did pass a couple days later. His funeral was on Good Friday, just months after he was diagnosed. Many friends and family were there. The Border Patrol was there. We all said goodbye to him.

Not a month goes by that I do not think about him. It pains me to know that such a great person had such a tragic premature end. I hate knowing that his smile and laugh are no longer on this earth. I know he is with God and no longer in pain and that does give me some comfort.

So here's to you, Justin! You are not forgotten! You are loved by many friends and family who look forward to seeing you again one day!